Where Have I Been?

Alright, I admit, I have been neglecting my weblog. I blame it on writer's block and the fact that I am in a flux lately. I live a double life and it has been disturbing my psyche lately.

In town I stay with Aaron, who is finishing up his fifth year of college and very busy. So I have been trying to not be in town too much lately. So I rush into town from The Bog an hour or two before begining work at the four star restaurant where I am employed. Mind you that out at The Bog I have been ripping walls out of my house, digging recycling up out of the ground where people have buried it, shitting in an out house, splitting firewood, smoking too much marijuana, and etc. So I have two hours in which to transform myself. I also probably have to try and squeeze some loving out of Aaron in this time too -

Then off to work - The scientific definition of work is: The act of moving matter from one place to another. In my case I move clean dishes to the front of the house (the part of the restaurant that the guests see) and dirty dishes back to the dish pit. During rushes I must do this very quickly. I have to clear and set tables, give new customers water, and keep the water filled. Plus I have to take away dirty dishes. Quickly. There are all sorts of tricks to doing this, but there are also things that I can't do. Wierd rules that protect the safety and reputation of those four stars. And for the first time in my life I meet "The Manager." Previously I have worked directly under a boss who is also the owner, this simplifys matters. Now I have several managers - and depending on the night they fluctuate. Depending on who is managing the rules change. Confusing. And of course there is the good manager who I love and the bad manager who I try to view in an enlightened manner of compassion while also fantacizing about telling him to shove his shoe up his butt.

So that is another fraction of my life. Now it is spring and my cool job at the Produce Stand is opening up. This is the fun job that I love, but which can not really sustain my student loan bills and such. So I try to help with set up which involves putting up the tarp, moving things around, anda lot of painting. But this takes time. The good thing about Anthonys (the restaurant) is that I only work 16 or so hours a week and I can pay my bills and still have lattes in the morning and beer at night. So I am a bit lazy.

I like my free time a lot. Because besides work I must maintain a loving relationship with my about to graduate and be free boyfriend; and I must work on my house which is presently sitting back at The Bog with half of the kitchen wall missing and needing to be closed in - not to mention moving the old stove out of the kitchen (throught the hole I ripped in the wall), and insulating and on and on; and I also must maintain a friendship with my best friend Amanda who is also in a busy tizzy and occupied with a full-time boyfriend; and I must also find time to go hiking - which is my true desire because it nourishes my spirit.

Of course neither Aaron nor Amanda nor anyone can find the time to come hiking with me. And also I lack the patience to 'organize an expedition' so I hike alone on my days off. Knowing that I should be working on my house or at the produce stand or spending time with those I love, or putting energy into the community at The Bog - which lately consists of me hanging out with my exboyfriend and exgirlfriend both who live across the driveway from me.

How did my life get to be like this?

Posted by bogsters at April 18, 2004 10:02 AM