How To Find Me

Either Direction on I5 Get off at Exit 104 Heading North on 101.
After you get out of town and head down the hill into the pretty valley, be sure to exit towards the right where 101 separates from 8. Head towards Shelton and the North Olympic Peninsula - not towards the beach. You are still on 101 North.

Exit at the Steamboat Island Road exit. Follow the road towards the left - past the gas station and ect. (If it is between May and October, you might find me at Madrona Grove Produce Stand which is directly on your left across from the gas station good food there any way) - but heading on towards the BOG ...

Take a right onto Steamboat Island Road and go for less than a mile.

Take a right onto Gravelly Beach Road and go for less than a mile.

Take a right onto Keating and proceed a few mail boxes til you see 5529 (Or maybe 5-29 because one of the 5's fell off the mailbox.) This is the BOG. It is on your right - you will see a trailer and a wooden cottage anda sign that says SLOW DOWN AND WELCOME TO BIG FOOT BOG.

Now is the tricky part.

Proceed down the long driveway. Notice how you feel as though you are descending into another dimension - do not fear the fog which might envelop you at this point.

Pass the burned out trailer. Keep Going Do not turn Right Do not pass Go Do not collect $100 Do not expect to get out of jail free.
Resist the desire to turn off at Rick's trailer. Ignore the purple peace flag. Keep going foreward.

You will pass a huge green dumpster, a massive mound of coffee grounds from batdorf and bronsen with a canada goose decoy swimming in it. Resist the urge to turn back. You will now pass through the WORM YARD. Recite: Lo and though I pass through the worm yard of dankness I will fear no stoners. It might make you feel better.

Once again Resist the urge to turn right: It will only lead you past the saw mill and pig sty to a house made of beer bottles.

Now you must make it past Ron's House. Visualizing pure white light might help guide you past the pirate ship and tell yourself that it is only chicken that he is barbecuing.

Now you will see the pretty hen house and the busted Mercedes. Again continue around the corner. Do not go straight at this point as it will only lead you the the broken down bus that my exboyfriend inhabits.

Fear not the epic mud puddles. Now you can park anywhere: Between the big green tuna boat car and the shed that collapsed under the weight of the snow is a good place. Notice how the shed spared the immortal sewing machiene. Now you must exit your car.

Assuming that you have parked in said location, walk up the path past the toilet bowl and you'll see my shanty.

Anywhere else you park further up the driveway, you can pretty much see my house on the right but if you go too far, you might fuck up and wind up at the gully hut and who knows what Ian will do to you.

Now if you have made it this far, and I am not there, don't fret. Let your self in and make yourself at home. Stoke the fire (but don't burn the house down!), read a book. Eat my food, sleep in my bed. I'll be back eventually. But once you have entered my house YOU MUST leave a note before exiting, otherwise you'll be hexxed until I see you again and choose to release you.

P.S. If I don't love you or at least know you and you bother me I WILL feed you to the pitbulls.

Posted by bogsters at March 9, 2004 9:12 PM