On August 11th, I posted the tinyblog survey.
Thank you so much everyone who took the plunge and emailed me your responses, then gave me the permission to post them. I made this all-new snazzy page, just to showcase them (plus I couldn't get a post this long to work in Blogger). Here are my answers to the questions, followed by a few of my favorite answers. There were no right answers, only amusing and not amusing. Ok, I take that back...one question has a right answer.
What name do you prefer to be called?
Have you ever hallucinated something you knew wasn’t there but looked real?
What is your favorite kind of tea?
What languages do you know swear words in?
Do you believe in a benevolent creator?
If so, do you have a relationship with it/him/her?
Do you believe in homeopathy?
What famous person you really wish you could be friends with?
What makes you act the most evil?
How much does your mom know about your life?
What music did you once love but can’t even listen to now?
What’s the dirtiest book you’ve ever read?
Are you a top, bottom, or versatile?
What is your most prominent dysfunction?
What is your favorite font?
What is your favorite kind of salad dressing?
Ever had a major illness or injury?
Ever come close to death?
Would you kill a man if it was you or him?
Would you kill a man just for lookin’ at you funny?
Are you still friends with your exes?
What do you bring to a potluck?
Say one nice thing about the author of this survey.
Okay, two things.
Say one nice thing about yourself, too.
What name do you prefer to be called?
Daniel, but I'll answer to just about anything except "shit for brains"...and it's true...don't call me late for dinner. I thought these were excellent names:
"Beautiful Sexy Vixen who is also Intelligent." Michele would do too. - Michele
Shaunylicious. - Shaunylicious
Have you ever hallucinated something you knew wasn’t there but looked real?
Several things. Mostly on drugs, but a couple of times when I woke up from sleeping as a kid, I would just have these outrageous hallucinations of shit flying around my room and my bedroom door opening again and again. It was terrifying. Lots of people didn't want to go into detail. Some did:
Bear Mountain, circa 1981. Drugs involved. Statue of Liberty floating in a lake. - Michele
Oh yeah. (I tried some mushroom tea with blended caps in the brew a couple of months ago, and I would swear that I saw dirt on a white background move around like little ants. My boyfriend reminded me that it was only dirt. It took him a few minutes of staring to figure that out, though.) - Sabrina
What is your favorite kind of tea?
Right now I'm hooked on the fine, hermetically sealed teas of St. Dalfour. The Organic Peach Tea is out of control good. Others liked:
Mister. - Mariposa
Green tea, at the moment. But that is mostly because I hate the milk in Singapore (not much land = no agriculture = no cows = no fresh milk = yukky tea) and Green tea doesn't need milk. (in fact it would taste nasty with milk!) - Kris
t. No wait. T. - Nick
What languages do you know swear words in?
English, spanish, and yiddish. Those surveyed, collectively also know how to swear in Latin, Mandarin, Taiwanese, Russian, Japanese, French, German, Italian, Malay, Swedish, and Pig Latin. In addition, Mariposa adds:
Sign language. (seriously...my we had about a weeks worth of sex and anatomy signs. I cringed everytime I saw my deaf teacher mouth the 'P' word..I finally had to ask him to stop saying it. he got embarrassed and used the 'V' word. they're blunt and dont give a single shit. it was a fun week.) - Mariposa
Do you believe in a benevolent creator? and
If so, do you have a relationship with it/him/her?
I was going to say external benevolent creator, but that just sounded stupid. I do not believe in a seperate creator being who made and maintains things. I think there is something to have a relationship with, however, and I do. I don't think I have the monopoly on truth, however, and this is something I really like to know about people:
Yes. / Not really *small guilt pangs* - Kris
Yes. / amen - Mariposa.
No. / N/A - The Booge
I believe in creation. / I love to create. - 'melia
More like benevolent arranger. / You mean like have we...ya know? - Nick
Do you believe in homeopathy?
The jury's still out on this, but I don't reject it out of hand. I took homeopathic arnica once and it did seem to make the tissue healing process go unusually fast. There's a large community of people who think it's important, but the same can be said of Scientology. A slight majority of tinyblog readers apparently do.
What famous person you really wish you could be friends with?
Michelle Shocked. I really like her songwriting, she seems like a big sweetheart, and I just think we would get along famously. There's lots of famous people I admire, but I'd really like to kick it on her street. Neko Case is a close second. I thought this was a cool rationale:
I know this sounds crazy, since it's so fashionable to hate her, but Angelina Jolie. I'm not a huge fan of her work, but every interview I've ever seen of her, she's not playing the bullshit makin' nice game. Leno told her she was weird for signing a "vow renewal" in her blood for her first wedding anniversary with BB Thornton, and she called him on it and said she knew that Leno put blood into the gas tank of one of his precious motorcycles, and that that was weirder than doing it for love. And Leno had to admit that he did it. that's why I like her. But if interviewers are polite then she's friendly, not bitchy. I like her style.
That's what I hate about TV. Ricki Lake has her stoopid show, and actually judges people and calls them weirdoes, and she used to be in John Waters movies, for cryin out loud. But I digress. - Lambtummy
Catherine Zeta Jones. So I could steal her away from that living corpse Michael Douglas. - Shaunylicious
What makes you act the most evil?
Arrogance and pride. I do okay until I start to think I have things all figured out. Then I start to act like a serious ass. Many people said traffic, but some notable exceptions:
Emeril Lagasse. He brings out the worst in me. - Sabrina
my vagina - 'melia
How much does your mom know about your life?
Currently not much, but she does read the tinyblog from time to time. I'd tell her anything, unless I thought it would terrify her. One chilling answer:
A little too much because she lives across the street from me, but not as much as she would like to. - Michele
What music did you once love but can’t even listen to now?
Someone else also said Phil Collins. What on earth was I thinking?
Pop-punk music. Yagghhhh! - Lambtummy
Haha....this is funny. That stuff that you hear in cars as you're driving down the road, it's nothing but bass? I used to *love* that when I was in high school. I can't stand it now. - Shelly
What’s the dirtiest book you’ve ever read?
Well, I've read a couple of seriously dirty books I think. Someone mentioned Nancy Friday's My Secret Garden and it's sequel Forbidden Flowers. It's a book where women have written in honest letters about thier sexual fantasies. They range from the very pedestrian to the unbelievably dirty. However, I think that The Delta of Venus, by Anais Nin is slightly dirtier. Why? Because not only does she write about pedophilia and necrophilia...but somehow makes them sexy. Therefore, it is a dirty, dirty book. To those who said gardening books and cookbooks: you think you're so funny.
"Auntie in Lace." When I was working at Lone Star (you probably remember this, I think?) I was working a slow Sunday afternoon when this older man came in and ate lunch and read the newspaper. I remember thinking that he was what Kilgore trout would look like, if he were real. When he left, I bussed his table and found that book under his seat. I know it was his, because it was so slow I wouldn't have missed it earlier, before he sat down. It was DIRTAY! It was the first (and last)incest novel I'd ever seen- very typical- poorly written, just lots of aunt-on-nephew action. Needless to say, I was scandalized. - Lambtummy
Nothing compared to the dirtiest website I've visited. - Poagao
Are you a top, bottom, or versatile?
Versatile, but I think topping really sends me the most. To top with love is a great art, I think. I liked everyone's answers for this question but especially:
Top, bottom, sideways, backwards...whatever the mood calls for, I'm game. - Michele
Sssh, the realtor's here! - Mariposa
I did it like this, i did it like that, I did it with a wiffle ball bat. - Nick
What is your most prominent dysfunction?
Lookin' for love in all the wrong places.
My upper body. - Mariposa
I worry sometimes until I have a panic attack. And I don't even feel better afterwards, because then I worry about having panic attacks. This is better lately, I think. - Lambtummy
What is your favorite font?
I think I really like Sambhota, a Tibetan font. Tibetan has all of these wierd character stacks and bizarre things, and to be able to represent it with today's pre-unicode encoding is really miraculous. Plus it looks pretty foxy. In addition, most of the tinyblog is done in Georgia, and the title is done in Perpetua, which I quite like. That family feud font ain't so bad wither, eh? I'd list them here, but hey, how exiting are font names? I thought about showing samples...but I don't have most of the fonts. A surprising number of people said Verdana! Wierd...I would think any web designer would be about sick of Verdana by now.
What is your favorite kind of salad dressing?
Blue Cheese. Or the Gravity Bar's Lemon Flaxseed. Some people had a homemade recipe. I envy them.
Ever had a major illness or injury?
No major illnesses, but several major injuries. You can read about them via my sidebar...I like to call them my Gruesome Accident Tales. A couple other in-depth stories:
I just recently had the worst sprained ankle in the history of the world. Big shoes....dancing on a hill at a Depeche Mode concert...stupid beer! I also got stitches on my chin when I was little. Family portraits...photographer had no fingers and a thumb...having to look at his nub on the camera and say, "Cheese," at the same time...fainted and landed on my chin. I don't even think my parents bought the pictures. I still remember my mom saying, "Stop leaning on me." And I'm not sure this is considered an illness, but--don't ever inhale helium for the sake of your co-workers amusement. Sure its fun to 'represent the lollipop guild,' but its not so effin funny when you throw up for 3 days straight! - Mariposa
I had blood poisoning when I was eight, because I had a scab on my arm that I wouldn't stop picking at, and it got infected from my dirty little kid nails. I knew I was sick, and I had a feeling I knew why, and I didn't want to tell anyone because I thought I'd get yelled at. So on the fourth day, I was running a really high fever, felt like hell, and noticed streaks were running up my arm. I finally felt so bad I woke up my visiting Grandma in the middle of the night (because it was verboten to enter the parent's bedroom in the middle of the night) and she saw how sick I was and woke up my Mom. I was rushed to the emergency room where I was given a series of shots, but still felt like hell for a couple of weeks. I remember sitting on the couch, crying without making any noise because my body felt so bad, and I overheard my Grandma say to my Mom, "I've never seen a kid cry like that." At the hospital, the doctor said, "One more day and she probably would have died." He looked at my Mom like he didn't believe her that I just told them I didn't feel well THAT NIGHT.
I was a real stoic when I was a kid, because I was convinced it was always my fault when I got sick. The irony is that I got yelled at for waiting so long to tell someone. Doh! There's a PS too- I was really allergic to the pills they gave me and they were making my hands swell and itch. Of course, I was home with Bob, who didn't believe me. When my Mom got home, she straightened it out. He thought I was a big liar from the time I was a very small child, which is why I think actually became one in that house. I've never told anyone that story, for no particular reason. - Lambtummy
Would you kill a man if it was you or him?
Only one person said what I think...that I would really have to see what the situation was like. I'm pretty serious about the non-killing thing, and if my life was the only life at stake, I might consider allowing myself to die rather than kill. This is theoretical, however. Most people said they would do so quite confidently...and I don't blame them.
Would you kill a man just for lookin’ at you funny?
Way too many people answered, "No." That is the incorrect answer. These answers were getting on the right track:
If he was driving like an idiot at the time, sure.- Michele
No, unless he made a comment about the size of my honey baked ham. - Lambtummy
Nah...the blood, big mess and i hate germs. I couldn't do it... and what if he just had a lazy eye? Then he'd go down for all the wrong reasons. - Mariposa
Probably not - unless he was giving me the evil eye. Or the stink eye. Or the snake eye. Or the crook eye. - The Booge
Only if it were like soooo funny that I fell down laughing, uncontrolably began to urinate all over, and defacate on myself, and it was like at my wedding. Then yeah, I would. - Nick
and the correct answer was:
hell yeh motha fucka!!! - 'melia
Are you still friends with your exes?
Sure. Some I wouldn't know how to get ahold of, but for the most part I loved them for a reason and I still do. One of them I am awfully tight with, and I have already told the story of one of them.
Just the ones that live in Texas. Wakka, Wakka, Wakka! (Seriously--its where I live!) - Mariposa
No. They're all morons. I've never had a relationship that didn't suck. But now, I am older and wiser and choosier (and singler). - Shaunylicious
all but one.....i mean, i am on good terms with all but one....not that i have kept up with them, we are not together for reasons - 'melia
What do you bring to a potluck?
Some people didn't quite seem clear on what exactly a potluck was. They wondered if perhaps they shouldn't bring pot. One person said they had never been to the kind where you bring a dish...which is exactly what a potluck is. I like to bring deviled eggs. I make some wicked deviled eggs, and I have since I was about 10.
Say one nice thing about the author of this survey.
He helped me with my website. - Poagao
He has pritty eyes. - Lambtummy
Highly shaggable. - Shaunylicious
He's Tiny - Bud
Somehow, and i have no clue how, he makes me feel like being naughty and godlike at the same time. - 'melia
I don't know who...wrote...ummmm....this..it was just emailed to me so? I dunno. - Nick
Nice smell. A class act all the way. - The Booge
He tells it like it is and if he thinks you're full of crap he will tell you so, sometimes i find it too confronting and i feel cranky and defensive, coz I don't always like hearing the truth. But it helps me to realise how silly and insecure and paranoid I can be, he gives me some perspective. I really appreciate that. Thanks, chook. - Shaunylicious
He has a nice beard. - Bud
He says things like "oh dear." That seems so sweet to me. - Sabrina
He is good at fishing for complements. - Lambtummy
and by far the spookiest...
ok I'm not sure who that baby is but i'm going to take him and bite his little head off and then put him back to bed because he is so cute!!! - mariposa
Say one nice thing about yourself, too.
The tinyblog awaits proof for a couple of the following assertions:
I have nice tits. - Michele
I always release spiders outdoors. - Lambtummy
I give great head. I'm a good cook. - Shaunylicious
I'm so money and I don't even know it. - The Booge
I like pencils... - Mariposa
One responder thought I had missed a vital question, and added:
You forgot to ask people what kind of tail they would have, and you better publish the results of this survey, cause your readership deserves to know. - Lambtummy
Thank you again everyone who responded, even if I didn't publish any of your answers I feel like I know you much better. If you haven't taken the survey, it's not too late!
Go back to the top so I can read it all over again!
Go back! To the tinyblog!