looks like family
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June 30, 2002
June 25, 2002
happy birthday shoutouts (!)
I'm back from retreat now. Perhaps I'll talk about it a little tonight, but there's two signifigant birthdays happening today that I wanted to mention:
Hudson Palmer Cress
Hudson is my sweet best buddhist geek buddy and he helps me break things and put them back together. Sometimes we get together on a thursday night and stay up all night drinking wine and fixing computers. We like it. I like him. I love him too. Happy birthday H.P.C.
Lama Tashi Namgyal
This is my precious Lama. One day I realized that I wasn't doing well enough at not being an jerk to the rest of the universe left to my own devices, so I asked for some help, and Lama Tashi is what I was sent. He taught me a lot of really important things and helped me not to be such a jerk. Plus, he's been an amazing and zero-bullshit friend for over four years now. So Happy Birthday Lama!
dhammapada five
If you cannot find a companion equal to or better than yourself, journey alone - do not travel with a fool.
The fool busies himself thinking: "These are my sons, this wealth is mine." But he does not even belong to himself, so what can be said of sons and wealth?
A fool aware of being a fool knows at least that much. But the fool who is proud of his knowledge deserves to be called a fool.
A fool may associate with the wise for the entire length of his life, but he will never understand the Dharma. Can the ladle taste the soup?
A sensible man may meet with the wise for only a moment or two, he quickly understands the Dharma, just as the tongue tastes the soup.
June 24, 2002
dhammapada four
Just as a bee extracts the flower's nectar without disturbing the flower's color or scent, the Sage moves through town and quickly passes on.
Do not reflect upon the missteps of others, their deeds and misdeeds, but rather look upon what you yourself have done and left undone.
June 23, 2002
dhammapada three
Living for the pursuit of pleasure, senses endlessly stimulated, all appetites fed, undisciplined and lazy, you will be blown away by Mara, poweless, like a twig in a storm.
Aware of the unpleasant side of life, senses controlled and appetites contained, full of faith and effort, you are like a mountain of rock in a storm, and Mara cannot touch you.
June 18, 2002
dhammapada two
"They would harm me. They would embarrass me. They would rob me. they would defeat me." Those who think in such a way will never be released from their hatred.
"They would harm me. They would embarrass me. They would rob me. they would defeat me." Those who do not think in such a way will be released from their hatred.
Your enemies will never make peace in the face of hatred - it is the absence of hatred that leads to peace. This is an eternal truth.
We are but guests visiting this world, though most do not know this. Those who see the real situation, no longer feel inclined to quarrel.
June 15, 2002
dhammapada one
Buddha sayz:
All things have the nature of mind. Mind is the chief and takes the lead. If mind is clear, whatever you do will bring you happiness that will follow you like your shadow.
All things have the nature of mind. Mind is the chief and takes the lead. If the mind is polluted, whatever you do or say leads to suffering, which will follow you, as a cart trails a horse.
June 13, 2002
om, allah! the spiritual survey
Well, this is to be my last post before buddha camp, and then I shall hand you over to my able guest curator of the tinyblog.
Before I go though, since the surveys seem to really make people happy, I think I'll do a little survey to send off. As before, if you post answers, please leave a link in comments so I can read them when I get back. I may do some kind of weekly survey then...
Om, Allah! The Spiritual Survey
1. Do you believe in God? I mean like...a being that embodies all goodness that one can relate to personally, not some amorphous 'jedi force' principle.
2. If you have some other conception of God then as a being, then what does it look like? How do you interface with it? Do you have some kind of persistant connection to it?
3. What (if any) established faiths do you participate in, or have dabbled in, or have observed enough to get some insight into?
4. What is your view on religeous traditions?
5. What do you make of John 14:6? 'Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.' (NIV)
6. Either inside or outside these traditions, what can one do to deepen their connection to their life or spirituality?
7. Do you believe that there is some stream of conciousness that continues after your biological body becomes a corpse, or do you believe that conciousness is an illusion generated by biological processes that will stop when those processes stop? Feel free to elaborate. (Simple version: do you die completely or continue on?)
8. How (if at all) do your spiritual beliefs alter or influence your behavior?
9. How do you think spirituality relates to sexual conduct? What is the highest purpose of sex?
10. What do you think is the purpose of a human life? How do you think you are fulfilling it?
11. What makes you get up and keep doing it every day? Are there any circumstances under which you would want to stop doing so?
12. What is the most important thing life has taught you? (Please no platitudes...I'd rather hear something very small and personal life has taught you than a rehash of The Golden Rule.)
Hope that gives you something to chew on.
Be nice to Shauna, she's my baby.
buddha camp 2002
Buddha Camp 2002 is what Shauna calls my upcoming retreat. It doesn't really have a name, but the teaching is on part of a new english translation of a classic (and exhaustive) Tibetan Buddhist text called Mahamudra: The Ocean of Definitive Meaning, which is a shortened version of it's more literally translated title, 'The Profound Instructions on the Definitive Meaning, Mahamudra, Connate Union: The Radiant Activity of the Essence of the Ocean of Definitive Meaning'.
A friend, as we were out for dinner with some friends, asked me the very succinct question of, "What the hell does that mean?"
"Well," I said, after some careful consideration, "I'm afraid that's beyond the scope of this discussion."
You know, it's not like I think it's just SO DEEP or anything...it's just that it's a pretty foreign presentation of reality, and to understand it, a little bit of groundwork has to be laid. Most people just want to hear enough so they can argue semantics, convince themselves that there's some sort of logical flaw in it, and then go back to being too cool to align themselves with any particular spiritual tradition. Which is cool, but as a result I'm a little gunshy. I don't explain unless it seems like people are really interested.
Are you interested? Many of the teachings that introduced me to these concepts are edited, transcribed, and published as a periodical called Shenpen Osel. There's links there to pdf's of each issue. I recommend Volume 1 Issue 1, Volume 2 Issue 1, and Volume 3 Issue 1 in that order. That's a lot of reading. If you're still remotely interested after that, then talk to me. Hehehehehe.
Another great way to learn a little bit about modern Buddhist thought is to read some Chogyam Trungpa. They just released the amazing The Essential Chogyam Trungpa, and that's a good place to start where that's concerned.
Want something sweet and calming and gentle and loving and simple? You can't do much better than Thich Naht Hanh.
I hope that helps anyone who is genuinely interested.
June 12, 2002
ummm...
This article about scientists who are studying the meaning of 'um', 'uh', 'like', 'y'know' and other language placeholders, was really fascinating to me.
I sometimes use uhhh and umm in the ways described in the article (to signal an upcoming pause in the narrative flow), but often I have the very disconcerting (to some people, like my sister) habit of not using these words.
When I'm telling a story, I often like to structure it in some coherent, meaningful way. On the tinyblog I can simply wait however long it takes for the words to come, and then write them.
When I do this in conversation though, people seem to find it pretty disconcerting. If someone asks me a question, I'm putting all my mental resources towards answering it, and often don't reserve a little attention to indicating that I am not simply ignoring them. The same thing happens when I am telling a story and stop to consider the structure of the next portion.
Even worse is when i do it at work. People call me on the phone and when they ask for information, I simply start looking for the information wordlessly.
An annoyed "hello?!" is sometimes my reward.
I guess I'd better start cultivating my ummmmms.
[ Link via the bleublog. ]
to read is human, to comment is divine
You know, one of the most consistant answers to Blogger Pride! The Blogger Survey, was to the question about quality readership. Almost everybody said that what made quality readership to them was comments. Almost everybody said they'd like it if they got more of them.
People may have been shy about saying they cared about popularity and such, but no one seemed to be shy about openly soliciting comments.
So, it occurred to me that perhaps we could do a little field research here at the tinyblog, and find out what makes people comment.
So here's my questions:
What makes you comment on someone else's blog?
and
If you are a blogger, what kinds of posts seem to garner comments?
Let's please be brutally honest here, otherwise it won't be valuable! And that's what I'm all about, adding value to the blogger community. Hehehehe.
June 11, 2002
it should be disgusting
I work an eight hour shift in the middle of the night and have to stay in the same room pretty much the whole time. Lack of cooking facilities, storage, or any way to go run and get something make for some...creative mealtimes.
I'd like to share with you my latest culinary invention, that, to all intents and purposes, should have been completely inedible, but, on the contrary, it was so good I had to eat every last bite before I could even begin typing this post.
I will share with you now the recipe:
warm sloppy cream of greens soup
you will need:
1 small block of firm tofu
2 tbsp canned mustard greens (preferably seasoned southern style)
2 tbsp whole milk plain yogurt
Chop the tofu into small cubes and place in a bowl. Add several spoonfuls of canned collard greens, including some of the juice. Microwave for 30 seconds or until sort of warmish. Add a big dollop of yogurt and mix it all in. Eat with a spoon.
I'm not kidding. It's really, really good. Like so good that I'm probably going to make it again. I'd probably even make it for a guest.
What do you make that should be absolutely disgusting but is actually incredibly good?
June 10, 2002
heads up
The time has come for that once a year that I go look at the very messy situation of my mind, and do not do any working or computering. It's the time when I go on retreat. I'll be gone from the 14th to the 24th somewhere in the wilds of Canada. (They have ducks on their money!)
Unlike last year, when I just put up a little static page while I was gone, I'm going to keep the blog going, in absentia.
To accomplish this, I am enlisting the help of a very special guest curator of the tinyblog. Yes, it's none other than Shauna of What's New Pussycat. She will providing the...well, whatever she feels like providing while I'm gone, interspersed with some canned posts I wrote in advance.
So...if there's anything you want me to know about or do between now and the end of the month, now is really the time to tell me, as I'm only going to be around for a few more days.
You can also read the posts I wrote about last year's retreat if you're so
inclined:
not killing the
mice.
i didn't mean
to kill the mouse.
are you
eyeballin' me boy?
June 9, 2002
gender clarification
A couple of people mentioned me in their surveys as a "she", so I just thought I'd clarify:
I'm a "he".
bonus question award!
And now the winner of the Blogger Pride! The Blogger Survey Bonus Question: Do You Fear The Booge?
There were no losers, especially since I didn't tell anyone there was a contest. And the winner is:
Fellow Heather B. Hamilton fan, grillboy
with:
"Well, if it is true that we fear the unknown, then I would say yes."
honorable mention:
Banalities,
with
"I fear the boogy. White girl ain't got no rhythm."
Your prize? These dandy customized oversized banners that you may admire, post, or send to /dev/null (that's like the recycling bin, for those who are not unix-savvy).
Thank you so much to everyone who answered. You so rock the house. There were some really well-thought-out answers and I got some fantastic links to try.
June 8, 2002
can you explain this joke to me?
I found this in a Cycle magazine in my friends bathroom. Does anyone get this
joke?
weekly survey?
Hey, this blogger survey thing has been so popular, and someone mentioned that they were craving a few questions to make their blogging task easier, and that the friday five was gone now.
I was thinking perhaps I might do some kind of weekly tinyblog survey a la the friday five. Only it probably wouldn't be on friday. And it probably wouldn't be five questions.
Anyone think that's a good idea?
June 6, 2002
answering my own questions
My own answers to Blogger Pride! The blogger survey. Thanks so much to everyone who's gone to the trouble to take the survey.
Ethics/Personal Life:
Has a blog post ever got you into trouble?
Well, when I wrote about my dad he got pretty pissed
off and demanded I remove it. Things I knew would cause trouble with specific people I
simply left out. I am trying to toe the line between being completely open about my own
life, and not hurting anyone.
How many people do you know face-to-face who read your weblog?
Almost everyone I know who gets online has probably seen it at least once when I turned
on their computer, opened up a browser window, and bookmarked it. My sister used to
read every single post until she (yesterday) moved to Wappinger Falls, New York to practice Buddhism full
time. My mom reads, I just found out one of my childhood friends reads...I think about
20 people I know in person check on a semi regular basis.
Have you met any of your regional (or even remote) bloggers?
I have met almost everyone on my Seattle blogger list on the Linklove page. I have also met Jish(happy birthday!), Mena of Dollarshort, and Ben. Some of my absolute closest
weblogging buddies live very far away, so I actually went out of my way to make
nice with people in my area, and I did not regret it. It hearkens back to the old
dial-up BBS days when I use to meet local folks for ice cream and pizza nights, when
everyone I met online was local.
Do you modify or delete posts? How often? Why?
I work a post when I first publish that, but after that I'd rather work on a new post
than edit an old one. It's not the New York Times for chrissakes.
How much is your weblog a part of your personal identity? Do you feel like people
who don't know about your blog don't really know you?
I think it's a fair part of my identity. I have such an exhaustive set of my
autobiographical stories on the tinyblog, that people who read it definately know a lot
more about my personal history than those who don't. Plus, it's been sort of my foray
into branding myself. It was quite a fun experience to pick fonts and colors and visual
ideas that I felt reflected what I wanted to express in my writing.
How has blogging changed your life?
I think it's honed my writing. I think I've had a chance to write and explore a lot of
autobiographical details. I've made a very cool network of online friends. I learned
how to code, partially because of blogging, and had a playground to test my skills,
which actually led to paying code work.
Technical/Design:
Do you know how to code at all? Did you learn how to code by blogging?
I'm relatively proficient in HTML, CSS, PHP, and MySQL. Blogging definately dug me into
it. Then I took some classes. Then I got a job doing it. It's very cool.
What weblogging tool do you use and why?
I use Movable Type for many reasons. I was a
part of the general conversation when the very idea of making it more than just a tool
Ben wrote to manage Mena's weblog into a real application everyone could use. I was one
of the alpha testers of MT, and I think I just might have been the first person besides
Mena and Ben to install it on a server (with Mena and Ben over my shoulder in AIM).
Other than that, it is an extremely stable, flexible, and good-looking application. I had no idea that it would grow to include the massive feature set that it now does. There are so many things that can be done with it that I will probably never do. God I hope it develops into a serious and profitable career for the two of them.
Does the design seem like something that is just something that has to be dispensed
with in order to be able to write publicly, or is your design an integral part of
your writing and presentation?
Someone pointed out that this was a pretty convoluted question. I have seen plenty or
pretty darn good blogs that use an only slightly modified Movable Type template, but
the template itself is pretty damn good. A good design adds to my goodwill and feeling
of a site and increases my chances of reading it.
How many times have you changed your weblog design entirely (or nearly
so)?
I've changed the external design 3 times, and the code structure twice. The current
design works pretty well, and I've stuck with it for quite a long time. I do have an
idea and images for a redesign, but I think that's a little while away still.
Readership/Motivation:
How many people would you guess (educated guess based on hit counts/logfiles) read
your weblog on a weekly basis at least?
I think it fluctuates, and is really hard to guess. Almost no one who answered the
survey actually did guess, most of them just recorded their daily hits which means
almost nothing. My best educated guess is 30-50 people, which is astoundingly cool.
What have you done to get more people to look at your site?
Trying to write the best stuff I can, and not post when I have nothing to say. When I
do my series' that seems to be a draw. I do post in others comments, and generally
develop relationships with other bloggers, but I do that mostly because I like other
people and like to communicate with them. It does have the side effect of some traffic
though. Regular readers are really more important to me than a high number of
one-timers, and perhaps even more important than comments and feedback.
Why do I even care? Well, it just increases the value to me personally of writing if there's a reasonable audience to interact with it. If I didn't want people to read it I could have easily used Word or something. The purpose of publishing is readership. It richens the environment, and inspires me to find new stories and tell them with some punch.
What one or two characteristics make a blog really popular? Are there things that
you could do to have more people read your weblog that you conciously do not do?
Why?
Consistancy, good design, and community involvement. Yes I know that's three. I should
have said three. Feel free to add one more if you answered this question and only
included two.
What really popular weblog do you think most deserves it...and/or least deserves
it?
I can't believe how badly people wussed out on this question. I think Mena, Shauna and Meg have really worked hard for their readership. I
personally thought that Wil Wheaton's blog was pretty damn funny back when I read it,
and I think the cult-of-personality that formed around him was pretty funny, but I
guess I have to still say he's pretty much the least deserving. The Bloggies this year were just
pathetic.
How do you feel about your readership? What makes for a quality readership to
you?
I am SO appreciative of people who read the tinyblog. I feel like it's a sign of
respect, for one thing, and with literally hundreds of thousands of people doing this,
for someone to spend a little time each week here is really just an honor. A quality
readership is one that reads intelligently. Sometimes that means comments and sometimes
it doesn't. Some people have even gone back and read some signifigant quantity of my
archives, which always blows me away. That's goddamn quality. Hehehe.
By the way, if you're here for the first time, and never saw the tinyblog before, and this is damn near the only post on the page, the best way to get to know the tinyblog is to have a look at the posts in my favorite, or series' catagories.
Influence of Other Bloggers:
What other blogger is most responsible for you starting your own weblog.
Shauna. I found her weblog and read it
before I got hooked into the whole blogging situation in general, and she really
planted the seeds of it. Plus, she provided hosting space quite early on, making me her
sweeet, sweeet bitch. I am still an honorary bitch to this day.
Who was the first other blogger (that you know of) who put you on their sidebar, and
how did you feel? How did it influence your blogging?
It was Pat, who is incredibly supportive to both
new bloggers and to the blogging community in general. I was getting ready to quit
posting, about a month into it, when Pat put me on his sidebar. I remember
thinking...oh, I'm on someone's sidebar...I can't quit posting now.
What other blogger do you most admire for her writing skills?
Some people have suggested it was sexist to use the feminine pronoun here. Perhaps they
might also think it is sexist that it is considered grammatically correct to use the
masculine pronoun when the gender is unspecific in the english language and is used
this way in publications of all types for centuries. So, I don't think it's so sexist.
I thought Dooce is tremendously funny and talented, and was quite crestfallen when she stopped writing under her own name (or anywhere I could find her). There's many others, but I'd like to mention the not-so-often mentioned saigonsam's: The Airman's Mess and dirty chele's: A Small Victory for sheer honest, gritty, true-to-life goodness. I, Asshole used to be a fav, but she's gone now.
What other blogger do you most admire for her design skills?
Actually, it's probably Tom Working. He just has a
very cool visual language that I really like. The inline graphic headers in
his blog are really just a scream.
Who is a blogger that you think is really good but doesn't get nearly the attention
they are worthy of?
Well, Kat over at The Sagbottom Home for Wayward Girls for one,
and the Brainlog, which always seems to
have something interesting to say.
Do you feel obligated to have people on your link lists/sidebars that you never
read?
I guess I should have known that no one would ever admit to this.
What one or two characteristics define a really quality blog (in your humble
opinion, of course)?
Consistently doing whatever it does best. I tend to like honesty and a little research
as well. Plus pretty pictures.
Bonus Question:
Do you fear The
Booge?
Don't be silly. He's just a harmless, mild-mannered little genetic scientist who lives
in Canada, with a pretty wife and a young boy who he takes snapshots of. What's to be
afraid of? Surely all is as it appears!
June 2, 2002
blogger pride! the blogger survey
Some time ago I did the tinyblog survey, which are (more or less) the set of questions that I'd really like to ask of another human being, after reading many email surveys about people's favorite ice cream flavor and such.
Then today I got the idea to have a survey about what I'd like to know specifically about other bloggers. A few of these questions have been rattling around up in the ol' noodle for a while now.
blogger pride! the blogger survey
Ethics/Personal Life:
Has a blog post ever got you into trouble?
How many people do you know face-to-face who read your weblog?
Have you met any of your regional (or even remote) bloggers?
Do you modify or delete posts? How often? Why?
How much is your weblog a part of your personal identity? Do you feel like people who don't know about your blog don't really know you?
How has blogging changed your life?
Technical/Design:
Do you know how to code at all? Did you learn how to code by blogging?
What weblogging tool do you use and why?
Does the design seem like something that is just something that has to be dispensed with in order to be able to write publicly, or is your design an integral part of your writing and presentation?
How many times have you changed your weblog design entirely (or nearly so)?
Readership/Motivation:
How many people would you guess (educated guess based on hit counts/logfiles) read your weblog on a weekly basis at least?
What have you done to get more people to look at your site?
What one or two characteristics make a blog really popular? Are there things that you could do to have more people read your weblog that you conciously do not do? Why?
What really popular weblog do you think most deserves it...and/or least deserves it?
How do you feel about your readership? What makes for a quality readership to you?
Influence of Other Bloggers:
What other blogger is most responsible for you starting your own weblog.
Who was the first other blogger (that you know of) who put you on their sidebar, and how did you feel? How did it influence your blogging?
What other blogger do you most admire for her writing skills?
What other blogger do you most admire for her design skills?
Who is a blogger that you think is really good but doesn't get nearly the attention they are worthy of?
Do you feel obligated to have people on your link lists/sidebars that you never read?
What one or two characteristics define a really quality blog (in your humble opinion, of course)?
Bonus Question:
Do you fear The Booge?
Please don't answer in the comments...the best thing would be to post the answers to your own weblog, and leave the URL to your post in the comments. And of course (wink, wink) link back here so that we can compile the answers of many more bloggers than just the ones that read this site.
I realize this is quite a few questions, so please feel free to answer only the ones that interest you or your readership, and add any you think are missing. Thank you for participating!
If it's easier for you, download the text
file of the survey.